kyun ....

why do i write this blog now when i should be reading the newspaper ... why do i still have the cricket on the tube instead of the daily dos of gana-bajana ..... why am i doing something i have done so many times before .. why am i still not in bed ... why am i paining myself ? kyun mera man .... like a lot of other questions, this too will probably not have an answer. some of the earlier ones would. to justify things for a shortwhile only though. and i thought i had reached this stage where i had curbed impulsive behaviour. if nostlagia didnt bring that familiar feeling, it wouldnt be of any use. maybe i do it only to assure myself that i am familiar with the surroundings .. sometimes through assimilation and reflection on what was taken in without due attention, sometimes by shutting out the queries. the search for familiarity, in more avenues than one remains the only familiar thing. what you dont try, you dont learn. what i have learnt is that some things are not meant to be. what those things are, i may not know just yet. did you say why ? you gotta be kidding me