u cant take my happiness away frm me

my best nd longest journal entry taken away frm me courtesy this site .. my innermost emotions all poured out into words, m most beautiful thoughts, on digital data... lost forever. or is it so? i still hav them inside of me .. seated even deeper than before .. all i had written in the last thing .. was all abt situations like these .. i am happy i amm v happy .. sonds like Sehwag after recvng mom award eh? but yes am truly happy having understood the true meaning of happiness .. :))))

love, actually

so .. a long week awaits me.... n yet what just went by wud still remain the longest day of my life i guess ... not quite the five point someone style, but yes, a very long day ... but more than ne thing, if i could keep back with me one highlight of the day, it wud be the speculation of my being in love ... hah ! it was meant to be an innocent status message .. abt the stereo nation song tht i had found over the local net .. n was listenoing to with much delight .. but the lyrics were such tht ppl thought i was in love n very much lost in it. the long phone chats with vp just added to the confusion ... ubt tht left me pondering the question am i in love ?   what is love actually ? and wht abt the last 3 times i thought i was n love ? well whatever be the case, it was much different this time round. i still dunno if its love .. cos i certainly dont think it is .. but there is a magical aspect to this all ... n if u ask me if i remember one instance when i wud hav killed myslf for just being there wud be when she said the magic word,  ... but the magic had already been done by then .. it was just a matter of when it wud come out. well, the reason why i dont think this magic is love is because, of two reasons. firstly, this time round, i havnt turned over a new leaf, or started writing poetry like the last time round. personally, tht was a very creatively fulfilling period. secondly, there was another incidence when sm1 casually said smthing to sm other guy but it was said so sweetly and most of all innocently, tht i was mesmerised. so it definitely cant be love.

but isnt this the way i want things to be ? i just want to be myself n how many ppl make me feel at ease ? very few. so this is smthing i enjoy, or like todays class, i value. so can this be love? maybe yes. its not the magic but the simplicity of things tht i wud call  love. the honesty is the beauty or in techie language, wysiwyg. and in the most honest of all situations, i feel like i hav found smthing tht deserves the best of me ... n this is why i change, yet remain the same. this is why i love being here. this is why i can love everyone around me. this is why i can love myself. this is why i may be able to love sm1 else some day.

the salesman doesnt wanna sell, the customers dont wanna buy !!!

a classic case of the brand growing bigger than the product. worng segmentation, wrong positioning but who did this segmentation after all ? who positioned the brand. it was the ppl themselves. but then, they throw the ball back by saying that when as all this was happening, there never was any attempt to dispel a few notion or to expand the presence in other areas. so stuck to the sterotype image. is that the case ? was there never any venture into other areas? yes there was. but it was never seen. why ? i dont know. i wish i knew but i dont.

in case u r wondering what the hell does it mean, lemme tell u very frankly i am talking about
myself. this is brand "happy" overtowering the 6'2", 85 kilo 22 year old bloke somewhere in the files that gathr dust in a WIMSI. if u ask me if i know the real me i wud say no. but i hav been trying to do it. and at this point i must thank some of my friends who have helped me do tht. perhaps it was one of my mistakes that i was not able to limit my other side to just those few good mates. or maybe i didnt aggressively advertise it i am happy with my life, its pains and joys. thts the way i wanna b. myself. living up to the brand would probably kill the real me which in turn wud be the end of the brand. n of course if i dont liv upto the brand, u know its extinct.

but nw tht doesnt bother me nemore. as the mltr song goes, "i am not an actor, i am not a star". there will b stars n celebs but i wont b there. and neither will happy be one !