life is all about happy coincidences. because the sad ones we condemn as fate. If Forrest Gump said that life's a mix of both predestined events and a box of chocolates where one doesnt know what hes gonna get next, he probably meant that. Sweet chocs, sad fate. or am i being defeatist ? when i started out, i wanted to listen to this song, which i felt reflected my sitution best. but then i ended up humming along to this prayer song. that someone had wrongly named the file didnt matter. i was getting on a platter what i needed ! if only wants and neeeds were the same ! sometimes one doesnt know himself as well as he thinks ... sometimes you havent fought hard enough to be urself .. sometimes u easily let urself be led into being someone else and then when u get to fight your demons, u panic. a priest had once described the deteriorating condition under which he had to work by saying, "perhaps we are not faithful enough .. else we would never worry" or perhaps we are more faithful than needed at times. the mind inventing things to suit its needs, never really wishing to face the reality. so what should i write now ? sheesshh ! or reality check ? what difference does it make now ? things are so ingrained in me now that perhaps being myself has totally new meaning and new dimensions now. a tale of two cities, a tale of two songs, both associated in the same way, spaced apart by a few months. i do not know if there will ever be a third time .. i do not know if i will ever survive a third time ... like Hugh Grant in Notting Hill, "my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again ... cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be" but still, like he had said earlier "Remember, I'm just a guy. standing in front of a girl. asking her to love him". i am on my way ... knowing fully well that unlike Grant, i wont be able to talk about my feelings so expressly at any time. yahi hai mera mantra ... ek khwahish aisi ki hazaron baar usi pe dum nikle. banwre man ki bawri baatein, but then, without any agenda or hope, let me stay in my fairy world. i ain't no harry potter but i can definitely be happy rotter anytime of the day .. so let me stay in my world of happy and sad coincidences, when my dad wud think of me just a day before, when my mum would say that just a few hours back, when i would come back home late one night and necessarily find it out as it happened ... and i go back to being Dhirubhai's rival in the far fetchedness of the dreams.
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