well, i am not an atheist .. it helps a lot of people sleep better. no, they arent the OPus Dei types who atcually care too much about my religious/spiritual(me? huh?) inclinations. hell no, its here tht i have understood truly the meaning of being an agnost .... and realised that i definitely am not one. no, they are the ones whom i tell that its God's grace tht keeps me from crossing the line between my personal liberties and insanity resulting in others' inconvenience. and today, i almost came too close to doing it as well. but u know, it wasnt me ... it was something else that had taken control over me ... (oh c'mon, cut the evil spirit exorcism crap) ..and i understood that only when i acted natural. which i have never been shy of and always been proud of. but today, even the activities that i normally do were laced with an intention of making a statement. too much digression, sorry. coming back to the agenda, i was actually trying too hard to be cool, like so many others. but it wasnt exactly working out and then it was an even greater artificial attempt. such a vicious cycle. but thankfully, there was still something of the real me left, and that was what rescued me. it just happened ... i was myself and cool at the same time .. finally. thts cos my definition of cool had changed. no longer was it determined by the others. no longer did i need someone else's certification. and i could clearly see why i wasnt cool, in being myself or when trying too hard.
and then, the final solution .. some Lucky Ali music ! and if u r thinking why i titled this post after Jal's song ... its cos i am feeling very sleepy and cudnt decide in which state i am ... and hence ... looks like a continuance of an earlier post as well ;) but now that i am comfortably numb with sleep, i am gonna doze off now .... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
sleeping sure is the cool thing to do in the night :) .. as also is talking to oneself, or dancing on the stairs ... hmmm
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